I’ve made a change in my life. Not a big one, well established, but just recent. We will see if it stands the test of time. I have been trying to make peace with the bugs… sorry, insects.
Insects creep me tf out, and I blame it on coming from a rather insect-less upbringing. In our cold Northwest climate, probably the largest insects we have are crane flies. Everything smaller than them ranges from little tiny gnats to roughly termite-scale. To give myself credit, I have no problems with gnats/flies/ants, but is anyone really scared of the small bugs?
For this part of the post I was going to describe an encounter with a large insect but googling “large insect” to find one for inspiration legitimately made me nauseous. So I will be skipping this part of the post! Onto the next one! Scroll down already!
I’ve spent a lot of time looking at bugs, watching how they move, to “learn from my enemy” so to speak. What scares me most about them is how unpredictable they are. A spider on the wall could cower and hide-- Or it could jump directly towards me, and there’s no telling which it’ll do. Over time I have come up with a few rules they follow (But every bug is different):
I want to demonstrate something:
Two weeks ago there was a wasp in my classroom. Buzzed right in through the window and got in Jordan’s hair. For about 3 minutes it terrified the back half of the room, me included. I jumped backwards when it darted towards me. Not because I was afraid of getting stung (I’ve never been stung), just the concept of a bug being near me was enough to impulsively leap away.
Yesterday there was a crane fly outside my door when I came home from shopping. Humbly dubbed the “skeeter-eater,” crane flies are actually rather beneficial bugs to have around. Either way, I didn’t want it there. But, instead of shmushing it with my shoe, I waited patiently with my bags for it to fly away. Not towards me, of course, fuck that, but away from the door. I’m not unafraid of them for being harmless, I still jump on impulse.
So, whether it's a mean killer wasp that can and will hurt me, or a nectar harvesting pacifist bug that can be my friend, I hate them all the same. They are both evil for being alive (although just barely). The truly greatest and least evil bug is the one that gets the fuck away from me.
Well, that was a little harsh… I’m not suggesting you should do the same, but I’ve asked this: should they really be killed just for getting too close? They aren’t close because they want to be: For proof, has any bug you’ve shooed out of your home ever broken back in? It's just where the wind blew them to.
Like a piece of matter hurtling through space, that, by chance, just so happens to pass by our beautiful planet on its fiery path. Two ships passing in the night. But our ship will continue on, while theirs is doomed to sink. Maybe I misjudged you, bugs.