It has taken a lot of thought and effort and bravery to summon up the will to say this: My life is full of happiness lately. I don’t know how much of it comes across through this site (It’s hard not to sound a little emo while blogging) but I really am overflowing with whimsy. Things are good, and they’ve been good. If anything, I can’t believe I only realized it now!
Writing has become an incredibly important outlet for me, both creatively and emotionally. Doing it close to every day as a hobby was something I never dreamed of being able to do just years ago. And there’s a couple of reasons I can point to: Firstly, my classes are retreating in their time commitments (They weren’t lying, things really get better after your “core” classes!). Secondly, Dr. Bronner’s Dick Suck University has inspired me to stay regular with my writing, and it's just the push I need to keep my fingers on the keys.
Back in ye olden days (Middle school, lol) I would consider a day to be good if I could get through all my homework and still find time for video games. Since then, the bar has risen quite a bit. As I started fitting more things into my high-priority activities list (Exercising, doing some reading, eating three meals, going to work, taking a shower), the bar had risen so high that I couldn’t possibly do it all. As such, instead of prioritizing the REALLY important stuff, I was just permanently disappointed in myself.
Even on very productive days, if I didn’t get around to that shower, or didn’t have time for reading, then it wasn’t a good day. What a sorry way to think about things…
Beginning in 2023 (“The Year of Loosening Up”), I started being less strict with myself. Now I really try and appreciate the good stuff. And by god do I got some good stuff. Too much to list, but here are some highlights: My girlfriend living closeby. My coworkers being the nicest people ever. My job actually allowing me to buy stuff. My classes not overwhelming my life. Lastly, but not least(ly), my writing being such a consistently fun exercise.
There are a million and one more things I could say, but sometimes it feels forbidden to put it all into words. For now I’ll sit back and enjoy this beautiful arc of smiles as long as I can bear a grin.