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The idiot I am, I just realized that I’ve been titling my posts one day after the real date. You know what? I don’t know how to change it back and I don’t want to. The future is now.

I saw someone posting about the long contracts with which pro athletes sign to teams, and I agree that it's stupid. Mr. Juan Soto, what do you mean you’re signing to the Mets until 2039? Do you really expect there to be a 2039?

The joke they made prompted me to consider why I’m so pessimistic about the future, and in turn why it's so hard for me to make long-term plans for it. Could it be a result of living under warnings of climate change for all my life? Maybe a denial of the future due to personal fears? Or, am I just a pessimistic person?

While I don’t prescribe to any one of those ideas fully (But a combination of them…?), I can’t deny my life-long anxiety when asked to “imagine your life in ten years.” Hell, even five gives me trouble.

So, here’s an attempt:

In five years I’d like to be working a job applicable to my degree, under an NGO, program, or some kind of project with good intentions. I’d like to do fieldwork more than officework, in the natural spaces of my home state. If I don’t stick around here, I would love to work in Alaska, Montana, or somewhere cold and rugged. In five years I’d like to have seen at least one Grizzly Bear. I’d also like to have written and printed a book, even if it's not mass-published. I’d like my 25th birthday to be a fun one. Here’s hoping.