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Gaming Professor Archive: 2007

Salutations students, it's the Gaming Professor here! Welcome back to the only classroom where the curriculum is gaming! Class is in session!

So, what do you get when you mix epic fantasy action, amazing graphics, and badass sword-wielding sexy beautiful redheads? My kind of game, heh heh. This is Heavenly Sword, the newest game to hit the PS3. Thank you to Ninja Theory for sponsoring this blogpost, and for bringing the awesomely beautiful Nariko into my life! Gadzooks!

So, you want to know if the game is good? Spoilers, hell yes! The action is provocative and so are all the sexy ladies. I could feel my goosepimples on edge whenever Nariko was at low health. I. Must. Protect. My. Queen! And what a queen she is, rendered in full 3 Dimensions with motion capture technology. You can see every eyelash on her dreamy brown orbs in 720p!

So, the story is about a lady who’s on a quest for revenge after something bad happened I guess, and now she wants payback. I wasn’t really paying attention but someone died and the evil Artesian Army is to blame. They’re going to learn their lesson for making Nariko mad.

So yeah, it's basically God of War but with more eye candy. Hubba hubba.

So, if that doesn’t convince you to buy it, then I don’t know what will. Don’t listen to all the negative reviews about female representation or cliches. Edge Magazine gave it a scandalously low 60%, but they’re a bunch of backwards scoundrels with no respect for true gamers. Ninja Theory, if you’re reading this, know that you’re doing something right and you better keep it up. I can’t wait to see what amazing, innovative creation you make after the game after this one. I bet it's gonna be amazing and history will prove me right.

So, Heavenly Sword gets an epic A++ from me. Stupendous work! Class dismissed.